The friendship piece

Making friends after 40 is weird.

There. I said it.

When we were younger, friendships almost happened automatically. School, college, work, kids, sports, neighbors — life constantly put people in our path. You saw the same people over and over, conversations happened naturally, and somewhere along the way, friendships formed.

Then one day you look around and realize… wait. How exactly am I supposed to make new friends now?

Because apparently walking up to another grown woman in Target and saying, “You seem fun. Want to grab a drink sometime?” still feels slightly unhinged. 😂

Adult Friendship Really Does Feel Like Dating

You meet someone. You have a great conversation. You think, I really like her!

Then comes the awkward part.

Do I text her?

Should I wait?

Did she actually want to hang out again, or was she just being nice?

And heaven forbid you finally exchange numbers and both say, “We definitely need to get together!”

We all know those plans can disappear into the universe for the next six months.

The truth is, a lot of women want deeper friendships. We want the friend who texts, “Want to grab coffee?” We want someone who says, “I’ve had a horrible day — can we go have a drink?” We want dinner invitations, spontaneous plans, girls’ nights, belly laughs, and conversations that go way deeper than small talk.

But somebody has to make the first move.

Friendship Has to Go Both Ways

One of the biggest things I’ve realized is that real friendship requires reciprocity.

I don’t want to always be the person making the plans.

And I don’t think most women do.

We want people who think of us, too.

The friend who sends the random text.

The woman who sees an event and says, “We should do this!”

The person who reaches out simply because she hasn’t heard from you in a few days.

Friendship doesn’t need to be perfectly 50/50 every week. Life happens. But over time, both people should feel wanted.

That matters.

You May Have to Get Uncomfortable First

Here’s the hard part: finding your people usually requires doing something uncomfortable.

Going to an event where you don’t know anyone.

Introducing yourself first.

Sitting down at a table of strangers.

Joining the group.

Sending the text.

Showing up even though every part of you is saying, Maybe I should just stay home.

And yes, there might be a few awkward conversations along the way.

That’s okay.

Not everyone is going to become your best friend.

You’re not trying to collect 100 new friends. You’re trying to find a few people who feel like home.

This Is Why Lipstick & Jeans Exists

Lipstick & Jeans was created because I knew I couldn’t possibly be the only woman feeling this way.

Women move.

Kids grow up.

Careers change.

Relationships change.

Friend groups change.

And sometimes you wake up in a completely new chapter of life and realize you’re ready for new connections, new experiences, and new people beside you.

That’s what this community is about.

It isn’t about walking into an event and instantly finding your new best friend.

It’s about creating opportunities for friendship to happen.

Dinner.

Drinks.

Volunteering.

Trying something new.

Laughing.

Showing up.

And seeing who you connect with along the way.

So if you’ve been thinking, I really need to meet some new people, consider this your sign.

Come to the event.

Sit at the table.

Introduce yourself.

And if you meet someone you click with?

Text her.

Because chances are, she’s hoping you will.

Come as you are. Find your people. And remember — there’s always a seat at the table. 💄👖💕